teacher humour

These are absentee notes from parents (including original spelling)collected by schools all over South Africa.
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today.Please execute him.
2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
3. Dear School : Please ekscuse Shadrak being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32, and also 33.
4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse Blessing from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fellout of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face..
7. Moses was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He washurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been botheredby very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side
10. Please excuse Justice Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre)(dyrea) (direathe) the sh its. [Words in ()'s were crossed out.]
12. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrheaand his boots leak.
13. Petros was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
15. I kept Beauty home because she was to go Christmas shoppingbecause I don't know what size she wear.
16. Please ekxcuse Kenny for missing school yesterday. We forgot toget the Sunday paper off verunda, and when we found it Monday, wethought it was Sunday.
17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend herfuneral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spenta weekend with the Marines.
19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold andcould not breed well.
20.Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed withgramps.
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
22. Please excuse Burma , she has been sick and under the doctor.
23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, feverand sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over.I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must besomething going around, her father even got hot last night.
24. Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.

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